Why can’t I write? Why won’t I write? I don’t remember how many times I have given thought to this – indeed, so many times on this blog itself.
It’s not that I cannot – I definitely can. A few posts on this blog itself have surprised me. And in the past, I have submitted my work to other places – they were accepted and published as well.
So what is it that stops me?
Fear, I think.
Fear: that my writing will not turn out to be good. Fear: that I will not be able to complete it – that I will leave it hanging. Fear: that I am not good enough to achieve this.
Fear: that it will not be accepted/ appreciated by those from whom I need that the most.
That said – will I ever write what I wanted to? It’s a question that I have asked myself too many times. And each time, as today, the answer is the same: I am not quite sure.
Open your eyes, and look inside.
Recognize who you are, and accept your strengths. Seize your dreams.
And don’t worry about what the world feels – they are your dreams. Not for anyone else’s consumption – solely yours.
“The sword of Damocles” is an anecdote/parable that entered Greek culture around 2.5 millenia ago, sometime in the early BCE period. It’s an easy one to summarize:
Damocles was a courtier during the reign of Dionysus II. Once, he attempted to flatter the king by referring to the power & authority that Dionysus commanded. Dionysus immediately offered to trade places with Damocles for a while, and Damocles agreed.
However, Dionysus also arranged for a sword to be hung (by a single hair of a horse’s tail) above Damocles’s head – to represent the peril and anxiety that he was constantly under.
Damocles begged Dionysus to be relieved of his kingly duties, for he no longer wished to be so fortunate.
So tell me, dear Reader – what would you do in Damocles’s place? Give up immediately and retreat back to a position of safety, or enjoy the comforts/power for a while and then step back?
Or would you ride your luck to see just how far would it take you?
When was the last time that I actually created something?
Honestly, I don’t remember – and this is not a good thing either.
Wake up, Neo.
Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.
The beatings will continue until the morale improves
The last few weeks have been terribly hectic for me. There’s some new short-term work that’s being performed and unfortunately, the folks working on it are “not quite qualified” (in the interest of maintaining a “G” rating for this blog). While the team plods away towards God knows where, I have to stand in the line of fire facing the customer.
But while eating flak for the incompetence of others might seem unfair, that’s all right – it’s part of the job that I voluntarily signed up for. And in times like these, nothing cheers you up better than some good, relaxing music.
Usually in such cases Black Sabbath is my #1 choice, but today I was in a different mindset altogether. A quick browse through my mp3 player, and I turned on “The Wall”, skipped a few tracks, and closed my eyes.
Can you stand up?
I do believe it’s working
That’ll keep you going through the show
Come on, It’s time to go
I… Have become comfortably numb