You know that feeling – when someone tells you about something (or someone else) and you just nod and follow along? When you know that a lot of people think agree – that thing (or person) is phenomenal, but you don’t seem to agree. And then comes one day, when you happen to experience it first-hand, and your mind is blown away.
In an instant, you realize that you were wrong after all and become a convert?
A few weeks ago, my throat rebelled against me. In the beginning I thought that it was an infection, and fought back with syrups, gargles and the like. But two weeks later, I finally gave up and paid a visit to the doctor.
He looked into my throat and nose and declared that it was not an infection after all – just a very dry throat. A lot of hydration, regular flushing of my nose & continued gargles should be enough.
“Colorado does that to you,” he said. And to confirm his hypothesis, asked whether I had trouble swallowing.
I replied in the affirmative – for even the smallest thing caused me a lot of trouble. Banana slices, cream cheese, even sips of water would result in excruciating pain for an instant.
But then if you are used to swallowing your pride, there’s nothing else that you cannot.
If a deja-vu happens to you all over again… and again… and again…
What do you call it?
I don’t think I need to name it, though. “Yet another deja-vu” is good enough for me.
And what’s your preference – a sandy beach, or rocks on which waves can crash and foam? Or a mix of both, perhaps?
In any case, for the moment let’s leave such desires aside and try to think rationally – can you actually afford it? How much will such a real estate cost?
Here’s what I think:
- A few stomach ulcers
- Loss of patience and an increased bad temper
- Loss of idyllic evenings spent with family
- Perpetual stress about the bank account
Not worth it.
Wise people learn from experience.
Wiser people learn from other people’s experiences.
Can I? Yes, of course. No doubt about it.
Will I? Not so sure, actually.
The man sat in a corner, head in his hands and eyes closed. After all he had been through, his master had added yet another task to his plate. He already had more than enough to occupy his whole day – in fact, even if he quit sleeping and eating, he wouldn’t be able to complete everything his master asked of him.
For all these months, he had been struggling – shifting priorities and shuffling between tasks – and to some extent had succeeded, indeed. There had never been even a single catastrophic day so far. Oh yes, there had been times when he had given up hope, but trudged along anyways. Waiting for the sky to fall, he had instead been surprised when things righted themselves. Miracles, he assured himself.
No, it’s your overflowing bowl of kindness and good karma, his near & dear ones had said.
He turned around and looked at them. They were so happy and carefree, playing in the garden. He liked to see them that way – innocent and unaware of what he was going through.
A hulking figure stepped in front him, and he was broken out of his reverie. He looked up – it was his master. His master, who piled task upon task on him, seemingly carving enjoyment out of the misery that was doled out.
But today, his master was not gloating – the look on his face was – he was content. The master turned his head to look into the garden. Then, he turned back to face the man, gave a fleeting smile, and walked away.
The man was puzzled. What could that smile mean? Was he out to dole misery to his entire family now?
And then he remembered that day, years ago, when he had realized for the first time that there was no escaping the fate in store for him and his family.
That day, he had walked up to his master, and made a deal – that he alone would bear all the misery in store for his family. In return, his family would live a happy and contented life, unaware of what was happening to him.
He smiled, stood up, and went back to his work.
Experience and treachery will always triumph over youth and enthusiasm
- Anonymous (a.k.a. I don’t know yet)
It was confirmed last week – I have to go to Denver once again. Within 3 months, I will know whether I have to come back to India for good (yet again), or if we all need to stay in the US for another 5 years or so.
I know. It’s not what we wanted – but then you can only resist so much…
So I accepted the news, kept a straight face, and came back home to another Deja vu.