Archive

Archive for February, 2012

A matter of choice

February 28, 2012 2 comments

You’ve lost count of the days, and your entire body is weary. All you see is your destination – not so near that you will reach there tomorrow or even next year; not so far that you will never make it. But you can see it. And it is you who had chosen this path – it was never enforced upon you – all the more reason why you cannot abandon it.

As you trudge on, you come upon crossroads: but this was not part of the plan! Too tired to think about it, you turn left, and start to walk. But just ahead, the road is lost in a mess of bushes and shrubs. You will have to claw your way through to make any progress. Not willing to put in the effort, you turn back, and take the other turn at the cross roads. This time, there are no thorns in your way – rather, it’s a swampy, boggy mire that teases you. Ten years ago, you would have had the strength as well as the patience to take it head on. But not today.

So you turn around again, walk back, and decide to keep going in the direction in which you were originally going. But you not spared here either… This time the path is strewn with boulders – too heavy to move and too large to step over.

You think of turning around, of going back where you came from. But the way is shut – you cannot go back. It was a choice you made a long time ago. Your choice. Not something that was forced upon you.

So you sit down, and wait. And try and figure out what to do next.

Tuesday morning

February 22, 2012 2 comments

“This is the H Line to 18th & California. Stand clear, the doors are closing.”

I held on to the handrail, and the train jerked into motion. As it turned under Colfax avenue, I was thrown slightly off  balance and held the handrail tighter. I did not fall, but my eyes opened in reflex. The train went on slowly, and came to a halt at the traffic light. Beyond the fence is the community college’s parking lot. Usually it is at least half-full of cars, but on this day it was strangely empty. Snow had covered most of the grass and walkways – it was a sea of white.

And right through the maze of parked cars and accumulated snow, a man was walking his dog. He was not an urban resident – he had a scruffy beard, and a backpack that towered a foot over his head. His back was bent under the weight, but his step was firm. As he reached the end of one parking aisle, he stopped, took off his backpack, and said something to his dog. His dog woofed, and the man smiled back.  As they spoke with each other, I noticed his clothes. He seemed to be wearing some grime-covered military surplus gear; his boots reached halfway up to his knees. The left leg of his trousers was neatly tucked inside, but the right  one was out. It didn’t bother him at all – perhaps he hadn’t even noticed.

After a while, he looked up to the sky for a moment, put on his backpack and started to walk again. This time, his shoulders were square, and he had a spring in his step. For a few moments, his dog had to trot to keep up with him. Then he turned, and disappeared behind a building.

I don’t think he was a homeless man. I would prefer to think that he was a man of the mountains, one who makes his living off the land.

Yes, it sounds romantic, doesn’t it? Living in the mountains in a small log cabin with just nature to give you company. Reading a book by a rustic fireplace, and foraging the forest for your own food.

But that’s what it is, really – just a romantic dream. In reality, none of us urbanites would survive even a week in a jungle.

But if you were given the chance to find out, dear reader, would you try it?

Existence

February 18, 2012 Leave a comment

ex·ist·ence /igˈzistəns/

Noun: the state or fact of existing; being

Example: “do I even exist?”

Quote for the day

February 12, 2012 Leave a comment

“Everybody has a plan, until they get punched in the face.”

– Mike Tyson

The ultimate cure

February 11, 2012 Leave a comment

Definitions

February 6, 2012 Leave a comment

need: (Verb): Require (something) because it is essential or very important

want: (Verb): Have a desire to possess or do (something); wish for